I AM EVIL

hello

Well Sunday the 7th when Chris dropped off the boys, he was telling me that I am evil and this is not me. He does not like they way I have been acting. I said why because I am finally standing up for myself.
He said that there are a lot of people lying in this situation, and I said ya, your girlfriend and he said NO, you are lying...
All this because I said that I might not be home when he drops off the boys at noon time.
I think he has problems..lol

What a prick

Last night, I went out with Crystal Stockwell, I haven't seen her in a very long time and it was great to see her. We went to the Auburn Mall and then Little Texas for dinner.
Well Chris wanted to drop off the boys at noon time so he can go to a meat raffle with the bitch (I call her something else) so when I called the boys to because I did not talk to them Friday night, Chris said "OK, I will drop off the boys at noon time" and all I said is "Yea, if I am home, well I got to go, my date is here."(which she was, but he does not have to know that), and I hung up the phone.
Well he threw a fit, called me about 7 times, I did not answer the phone because I was out and did not want to ruin my night auguring w/ him. He txt me about 4 times and here they are:
Txt.1. Why must you push my buttons. U already agreed for this. The boys will be at the house at noon. U need to stop. I did not lie to u and yet u still play w/ my head.

Txt.2. I am not playing games w/ u. So why must u play with me. Knock this shit off. If you want to stay friends then please stop I can not handle this!!!!!

Txt.3. Answer the phone?

Txt 4. Ruin ur night??? This about Sunday not tonight. And please stop calling her that? I will not put up with that. Have some respect for me atleast?

Txt 5. Ok u win... I will not bother with this anymore. C u at noon Sunday.

Txt 6. Thanks for being the friend u said u wanted to be??? Friends don't do what u r doing. Why??? Thanks for ruining my night! Have fun on ur date.



Is He Fucking kidding me... friends don't do what I am doing!!!!! What about what he is doing to me!!!!! He is still technically my husband... not a friend... He has no clue what he wants in his life and I am now very happy that he is no longer going to be in my life the way he used to be.
What is he thinking!!!!!! He is soo retarded and a huge PRICK!!!! Because something did not go his way, he flips out to no end... I can not wait till we get a divorce now, he just blows my mind on how he is thinking now...

what now?

Hello,

Well it has been a while since I have written anything, so lets see if I can remember some things.
On Feb. 23rd Chris told me that he is getting a full-time job where he has been working part-time. He brought over some Parrot Bay (for me) and some beer (for him) I guess to celebrate that he is going to work full-time. As I was cooking dinner, he asked me if I could give him a massage, so I said yes. I gave him his massage and he wanted the happy ending (shocking)...not).
So I ended up giving him his happy ending, not really into it until he started to play w/ my breast. Then he said that he wanted to f**k me in the ass, so I took off my shirt and pants and we had sex. He did not f**k me in the ass though, but we did have sex.
Well, so much for not having sex w/ him anymore.............

On March 1st. Chris and I went to probate court to file for divorce. It turns out that we need to fill out a lot of paper work. So he brought me home and as I was loading the dishwasher, Chris was getting excited watching me because he likes my boobs????? OK what ever. So we ended up going upstairs and I started masturbating and he was watching, then I started giving him a bj and then we just had fun... OK so now what???? Do we continue to play with each other until I find someone? Because as soon as I find someone I do not want to have anything w/ Chris and I told him that... He understood, but said that he is going to miss my boobs and bj's...Oh Well. I just can't wait till that day.....

What is he thinking?????

OK, so last night Chris said that he is coming over to get his plow. So I text him to ask if he can pick me up some Bailey's Cream (for my coffee). I did not think anything of it because I have been wanting it for a while, just never went to the store to get it and seeing that he is coming over anyways I asked if he can pick some up for me and I will pay him Friday when I get paid.

Well he did and I thanked him, he also bought himself some beer and said that he will have only one with me, I already had some wine coolers. OK. so one turned into 3, then 4, then 5. We were watching TV, and chatting. He stayed to watch the weather,(we are getting snow) and he wanted to know how much. So the weather has ended and he said that he was going home, I walked him into the kitchen to say goodbye and thanked him for the Bailey's.
Well his hands were cold and he put them on my face, I took them and held them to warm them up and then he asked me "What do you want". I was (and still am) very confused on what he means by that. I told him that I want someone to love, and who can love me back.

He kept on asking me at least 20 times, what do you want , why am I here. I told him all I wanted was the Bailey's. I did not expect anything else. But I guess that was not the answer he wanted. He then started to play with my nipples and was getting me all worked up, and still he kept on asking me "what do you want, why am I here". I still have no idea what he means by that, so I was saying things I thought he wanted me to say... but still he asked me again.
OK, I said I want to suck his cock. I said that I want him to have sex with me( which I really didn't care if we did or not) I was telling him everything that I thought he wanted to here, but it did not seem to be the answer he was looking for.... I truly did not want to have him come over for sex, all I really wanted was the Bailey's.... and I told him that.
We ended up having a shot of Bailey's and what was left in the cup, he dripped it onto my chest. (this is what he did before anything I just wrote up there) and asked me what do I want.
I took my sweatshirt off, because I just bought it and it was white, I did not want to get it stained already. So there I was standing there with out my shirt and he would just look at me. He asked me if he was going to lick it off or wipe it off and I said nothing, so he took it as wipe it off (which I am glad he did). He then put my shirt back on because I did not give him an answer that he was looking for, which I have no idea what he wants.
Oh yeah, As we were having a shot, he said that it was between us, our friendship, he WANTS me as a friend. He also had to put in there that he is living his life the way he wants right now, going out and having fun... well good for him, and I said that to him too..lol
Well we still continued to tease each other in the kitchen, I still have no idea what he was looking for in an answer from me. So it ended up that we went upstairs and had sex. OK, so it sucked, it was not the same, for some strange reason. I can't say it will not happen again, but I really don't want it from him anymore. He LOVES my BJ'S but I will not give it to him anymore.
I don't know why, prob. because he killed me and there is no more feelings for him. I do enjoy talking to him but that is it.
He ended up leaving around 11:45pm and that was that.. I still have no idea what he wanted me to say.. and will never know.
I wish I could remember everything in order instead of jumping around, but I can't, so I guess it is a good thing that I am the only one that is going to read this...lol

damage to my bus???????

Well this morning, around 8:15am, I got a phone call from Vendetti Motors asking me if I had hit anything w/ my bus. Well NO, if I did, I would at least told Rick or Bobby. Maryjane told me that there is a lot of damage to my bus and it is in the body shop being repaired....
Friday afternoon, Kim Smith had said that my red light was out, I thought she said drivers side, but I can't remember. I wish I would have looked at it then, but it was Friday and I had to get home to get ready for my other job, so I did not look.
Kevin is very upset with me thinking I hit something.. I DID NOT HIT ANYTHING!!!!!
This is really killing me..Is Kelley doing this to my bus to try to get me fired??????
I hope not, but with everything she is doing now, why wouldn't she go this far, after all she already but a big wedge between Chris and I so why not try to get me fired now.....

Well, I just got done walking on the treadmill and need to take a shower. Going to the bus yard to see what is going on....
Only God knows what really happened.....I just pray that she is not stooping down this low to do something to me...

Where do I begin. I wish I had time to write this down when it happens, but because of my busy schedule, I can't, so I am going to do the best I can. I am sure I am going to be skipping around because as soon as I remember something, I want to write it down.
On Feb.8th as I was leaving work, I saw Adia and drove up to her, as I stopped and talked to her (maybe 30 sec. top) I notice I was behind "The Bitch". I whisperd to myself "Oh shit, she is still here" because I thought she had left, there was an empty spot where I thought her car was.
Josh was in the car w/ me and she apparently waved to Josh ( I did not see it) but when Adia moved and I noticed it was her, I looked at her side mirror and she chucked me the bird, well I chucked it right back at her and whisperd fuck you bitch. She had a big smile on her face and it was not until I got home I realized why she had a big smile on her face, it was because she was on the phone w/ Chris and of course she would not tell him that she chucked me the bird so all he got was "OMG, she just chucked me the bird and said "fuck you bitch".
So when I got home, Chris was here waiting for the boys and I knew that he was pissed off at me for something, but would not tell me. I said what did Kelly say now, and he said that she did not say anything to him...LIER!!!!! she told him that I chucked her the bird and now he is throwing a fit at me, telling me that I am lying threw my teeth... (Ya Right). I can't believe that he is throwing this way out of purportion. She chucked me the bird and I chucked it right back at her.. no big deal... well he seems to think so.. He told me that he does not want to have anything to do with me anymore, the only time he is to call me is for the boys and the only time I call him is for the boys.. OK if that is what he wants. He just ruioned our friendship for good. When I went to pick up the boys at his house after work, he was drinking and being a prick. He told me that he ran into Lisa ( I forgot her last name) but she drives bus in Uxbridge. He told me that she told him, that I told her and a lot of other people that I said that he was not around for the birth of our children and that he treated me like shit.. Well that is not true, I never even talk to Lisa so I said that I will make it a point to see her the next day (tues. feb 9, 2010).
So I saw Lisa and she had no idea what I was talking about. She would not even let me get out what Chris said and she was all upset that Chris brought her into this... So she eventually let me tell her what Chris had said and she is getting real pissed off and wanted to call him, so I gave her his cell #, and at first he was denying it saying that he has no idea what she was talking about saying that he never said anything and then said "well you know you just say things when you are upset", then he oplogized to her.. Well when she got off the phone w/ him, she said that he is such a LIER that she can't believe it.. He is lying threw his teeeth...Lisa said that my dad always said that I could do better than Chris and never knew what he ment until now...

Well wed or thurs, Chris came over the house and we talked. We both agreed that we need each other's friendship. I am still upset that he does not believe me of what happened but he won't believe me anyways, she had put a huge wedge between us and he does not even see it.. I perdicted this anyways, I just did not think it would happen soo soon.

The end of a friendship

I can't believe that today is the end..... The end of once was a very good friendship between my soon-to-be ex. His girlfriend has him soo wrapped and made sure that she got him away from me, that she continues to lie to him about me..
Today after work, I was leaving and noticed an empty spot of which I thought Kelly was parked, and whispered "Thank god she is gone". Then I proceeded to leave and noticed another bus driver walking to her car, joking around I pretend to drive straight to her. I pulled over and asked a quick question and did not notice that Kelly was actually parked right there and she was in her car. Well she was on the phone with Chris and she proceeded to tell him that I was blocking her in..... BULLSHIT... I thought she was gone and did not notice her until Aida backed away and I said to my self" OH SHIT, she is still here." As I looked at her she chucked me the bird so I chucked it back at her and said fuck you bitch (not loud because Joshua was in the car).
She then said to Chris OMG... she just chucked me the bird and said fuck you bitch.
So when I got home, Chris was there and he was very upset with me.. Don't know why but he was, I finally got it out of him and he said because I chucked Kelly the bird.... WELL hello, I only did what he told me to do before,, give it right back at her.....so I did.

Well she has lied so much to him saying that I blocked her in and I don't know why she is chucking me the bird. He ACTUALLY believes her.
We got into a huge argument and he no longer wants to be friends anymore..
He stills thinks I am the one who is lying to him. I am very hurt that someone who was once a very good friend, wants nothing to do with me... but no matter what I say, he will not believe me.
I can't believe that I still cry myself to sleep every night because of what she does to me at work, and I said nothing to Chris, but she has no problem saying things to Chris about me.
Well no all the damage is done and there is no going back. No husband and no good friend.
It was funny when the boys told me yesterday that they meet Kelly, I could not believe that Chris would do that to me soo soon, but all I could think of is "BOY DO I MISS MY FRIEND"
Chris kept on asking me whats on my mind right this second and I could not tell him...
I DO AND WILL MISS MY GOOD FRIEND...

Good bye for now...