OK, so last night Chris said that he is coming over to get his plow. So I text him to ask if he can pick me up some Bailey's Cream (for my coffee). I did not think anything of it because I have been wanting it for a while, just never went to the store to get it and seeing that he is coming over anyways I asked if he can pick some up for me and I will pay him Friday when I get paid.
Well he did and I thanked him, he also bought himself some beer and said that he will have only one with me, I already had some wine coolers. OK. so one turned into 3, then 4, then 5. We were watching TV, and chatting. He stayed to watch the weather,(we are getting snow) and he wanted to know how much. So the weather has ended and he said that he was going home, I walked him into the kitchen to say goodbye and thanked him for the Bailey's.
Well his hands were cold and he put them on my face, I took them and held them to warm them up and then he asked me "What do you want". I was (and still am) very confused on what he means by that. I told him that I want someone to love, and who can love me back.
He kept on asking me at least 20 times, what do you want , why am I here. I told him all I wanted was the Bailey's. I did not expect anything else. But I guess that was not the answer he wanted. He then started to play with my nipples and was getting me all worked up, and still he kept on asking me "what do you want, why am I here". I still have no idea what he means by that, so I was saying things I thought he wanted me to say... but still he asked me again.
OK, I said I want to suck his cock. I said that I want him to have sex with me( which I really didn't care if we did or not) I was telling him everything that I thought he wanted to here, but it did not seem to be the answer he was looking for.... I truly did not want to have him come over for sex, all I really wanted was the Bailey's.... and I told him that.
We ended up having a shot of Bailey's and what was left in the cup, he dripped it onto my chest. (this is what he did before anything I just wrote up there) and asked me what do I want.
I took my sweatshirt off, because I just bought it and it was white, I did not want to get it stained already. So there I was standing there with out my shirt and he would just look at me. He asked me if he was going to lick it off or wipe it off and I said nothing, so he took it as wipe it off (which I am glad he did). He then put my shirt back on because I did not give him an answer that he was looking for, which I have no idea what he wants.
Oh yeah, As we were having a shot, he said that it was between us, our friendship, he WANTS me as a friend. He also had to put in there that he is living his life the way he wants right now, going out and having fun... well good for him, and I said that to him too..lol
Well we still continued to tease each other in the kitchen, I still have no idea what he was looking for in an answer from me. So it ended up that we went upstairs and had sex. OK, so it sucked, it was not the same, for some strange reason. I can't say it will not happen again, but I really don't want it from him anymore. He LOVES my BJ'S but I will not give it to him anymore.
I don't know why, prob. because he killed me and there is no more feelings for him. I do enjoy talking to him but that is it.
He ended up leaving around 11:45pm and that was that.. I still have no idea what he wanted me to say.. and will never know.
I wish I could remember everything in order instead of jumping around, but I can't, so I guess it is a good thing that I am the only one that is going to read this...lol
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
damage to my bus???????
Well this morning, around 8:15am, I got a phone call from Vendetti Motors asking me if I had hit anything w/ my bus. Well NO, if I did, I would at least told Rick or Bobby. Maryjane told me that there is a lot of damage to my bus and it is in the body shop being repaired....
Friday afternoon, Kim Smith had said that my red light was out, I thought she said drivers side, but I can't remember. I wish I would have looked at it then, but it was Friday and I had to get home to get ready for my other job, so I did not look.
Kevin is very upset with me thinking I hit something.. I DID NOT HIT ANYTHING!!!!!
This is really killing me..Is Kelley doing this to my bus to try to get me fired??????
I hope not, but with everything she is doing now, why wouldn't she go this far, after all she already but a big wedge between Chris and I so why not try to get me fired now.....
Well, I just got done walking on the treadmill and need to take a shower. Going to the bus yard to see what is going on....
Only God knows what really happened.....I just pray that she is not stooping down this low to do something to me...
Friday afternoon, Kim Smith had said that my red light was out, I thought she said drivers side, but I can't remember. I wish I would have looked at it then, but it was Friday and I had to get home to get ready for my other job, so I did not look.
Kevin is very upset with me thinking I hit something.. I DID NOT HIT ANYTHING!!!!!
This is really killing me..Is Kelley doing this to my bus to try to get me fired??????
I hope not, but with everything she is doing now, why wouldn't she go this far, after all she already but a big wedge between Chris and I so why not try to get me fired now.....
Well, I just got done walking on the treadmill and need to take a shower. Going to the bus yard to see what is going on....
Only God knows what really happened.....I just pray that she is not stooping down this low to do something to me...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Where do I begin. I wish I had time to write this down when it happens, but because of my busy schedule, I can't, so I am going to do the best I can. I am sure I am going to be skipping around because as soon as I remember something, I want to write it down.
On Feb.8th as I was leaving work, I saw Adia and drove up to her, as I stopped and talked to her (maybe 30 sec. top) I notice I was behind "The Bitch". I whisperd to myself "Oh shit, she is still here" because I thought she had left, there was an empty spot where I thought her car was.
Josh was in the car w/ me and she apparently waved to Josh ( I did not see it) but when Adia moved and I noticed it was her, I looked at her side mirror and she chucked me the bird, well I chucked it right back at her and whisperd fuck you bitch. She had a big smile on her face and it was not until I got home I realized why she had a big smile on her face, it was because she was on the phone w/ Chris and of course she would not tell him that she chucked me the bird so all he got was "OMG, she just chucked me the bird and said "fuck you bitch".
So when I got home, Chris was here waiting for the boys and I knew that he was pissed off at me for something, but would not tell me. I said what did Kelly say now, and he said that she did not say anything to him...LIER!!!!! she told him that I chucked her the bird and now he is throwing a fit at me, telling me that I am lying threw my teeth... (Ya Right). I can't believe that he is throwing this way out of purportion. She chucked me the bird and I chucked it right back at her.. no big deal... well he seems to think so.. He told me that he does not want to have anything to do with me anymore, the only time he is to call me is for the boys and the only time I call him is for the boys.. OK if that is what he wants. He just ruioned our friendship for good. When I went to pick up the boys at his house after work, he was drinking and being a prick. He told me that he ran into Lisa ( I forgot her last name) but she drives bus in Uxbridge. He told me that she told him, that I told her and a lot of other people that I said that he was not around for the birth of our children and that he treated me like shit.. Well that is not true, I never even talk to Lisa so I said that I will make it a point to see her the next day (tues. feb 9, 2010).
So I saw Lisa and she had no idea what I was talking about. She would not even let me get out what Chris said and she was all upset that Chris brought her into this... So she eventually let me tell her what Chris had said and she is getting real pissed off and wanted to call him, so I gave her his cell #, and at first he was denying it saying that he has no idea what she was talking about saying that he never said anything and then said "well you know you just say things when you are upset", then he oplogized to her.. Well when she got off the phone w/ him, she said that he is such a LIER that she can't believe it.. He is lying threw his teeeth...Lisa said that my dad always said that I could do better than Chris and never knew what he ment until now...
Well wed or thurs, Chris came over the house and we talked. We both agreed that we need each other's friendship. I am still upset that he does not believe me of what happened but he won't believe me anyways, she had put a huge wedge between us and he does not even see it.. I perdicted this anyways, I just did not think it would happen soo soon.
On Feb.8th as I was leaving work, I saw Adia and drove up to her, as I stopped and talked to her (maybe 30 sec. top) I notice I was behind "The Bitch". I whisperd to myself "Oh shit, she is still here" because I thought she had left, there was an empty spot where I thought her car was.
Josh was in the car w/ me and she apparently waved to Josh ( I did not see it) but when Adia moved and I noticed it was her, I looked at her side mirror and she chucked me the bird, well I chucked it right back at her and whisperd fuck you bitch. She had a big smile on her face and it was not until I got home I realized why she had a big smile on her face, it was because she was on the phone w/ Chris and of course she would not tell him that she chucked me the bird so all he got was "OMG, she just chucked me the bird and said "fuck you bitch".
So when I got home, Chris was here waiting for the boys and I knew that he was pissed off at me for something, but would not tell me. I said what did Kelly say now, and he said that she did not say anything to him...LIER!!!!! she told him that I chucked her the bird and now he is throwing a fit at me, telling me that I am lying threw my teeth... (Ya Right). I can't believe that he is throwing this way out of purportion. She chucked me the bird and I chucked it right back at her.. no big deal... well he seems to think so.. He told me that he does not want to have anything to do with me anymore, the only time he is to call me is for the boys and the only time I call him is for the boys.. OK if that is what he wants. He just ruioned our friendship for good. When I went to pick up the boys at his house after work, he was drinking and being a prick. He told me that he ran into Lisa ( I forgot her last name) but she drives bus in Uxbridge. He told me that she told him, that I told her and a lot of other people that I said that he was not around for the birth of our children and that he treated me like shit.. Well that is not true, I never even talk to Lisa so I said that I will make it a point to see her the next day (tues. feb 9, 2010).
So I saw Lisa and she had no idea what I was talking about. She would not even let me get out what Chris said and she was all upset that Chris brought her into this... So she eventually let me tell her what Chris had said and she is getting real pissed off and wanted to call him, so I gave her his cell #, and at first he was denying it saying that he has no idea what she was talking about saying that he never said anything and then said "well you know you just say things when you are upset", then he oplogized to her.. Well when she got off the phone w/ him, she said that he is such a LIER that she can't believe it.. He is lying threw his teeeth...Lisa said that my dad always said that I could do better than Chris and never knew what he ment until now...
Well wed or thurs, Chris came over the house and we talked. We both agreed that we need each other's friendship. I am still upset that he does not believe me of what happened but he won't believe me anyways, she had put a huge wedge between us and he does not even see it.. I perdicted this anyways, I just did not think it would happen soo soon.
Monday, February 8, 2010
The end of a friendship
I can't believe that today is the end..... The end of once was a very good friendship between my soon-to-be ex. His girlfriend has him soo wrapped and made sure that she got him away from me, that she continues to lie to him about me..
Today after work, I was leaving and noticed an empty spot of which I thought Kelly was parked, and whispered "Thank god she is gone". Then I proceeded to leave and noticed another bus driver walking to her car, joking around I pretend to drive straight to her. I pulled over and asked a quick question and did not notice that Kelly was actually parked right there and she was in her car. Well she was on the phone with Chris and she proceeded to tell him that I was blocking her in..... BULLSHIT... I thought she was gone and did not notice her until Aida backed away and I said to my self" OH SHIT, she is still here." As I looked at her she chucked me the bird so I chucked it back at her and said fuck you bitch (not loud because Joshua was in the car).
She then said to Chris OMG... she just chucked me the bird and said fuck you bitch.
So when I got home, Chris was there and he was very upset with me.. Don't know why but he was, I finally got it out of him and he said because I chucked Kelly the bird.... WELL hello, I only did what he told me to do before,, give it right back at her.....so I did.
Well she has lied so much to him saying that I blocked her in and I don't know why she is chucking me the bird. He ACTUALLY believes her.
We got into a huge argument and he no longer wants to be friends anymore..
He stills thinks I am the one who is lying to him. I am very hurt that someone who was once a very good friend, wants nothing to do with me... but no matter what I say, he will not believe me.
I can't believe that I still cry myself to sleep every night because of what she does to me at work, and I said nothing to Chris, but she has no problem saying things to Chris about me.
Well no all the damage is done and there is no going back. No husband and no good friend.
It was funny when the boys told me yesterday that they meet Kelly, I could not believe that Chris would do that to me soo soon, but all I could think of is "BOY DO I MISS MY FRIEND"
Chris kept on asking me whats on my mind right this second and I could not tell him...
I DO AND WILL MISS MY GOOD FRIEND...
Good bye for now...
Today after work, I was leaving and noticed an empty spot of which I thought Kelly was parked, and whispered "Thank god she is gone". Then I proceeded to leave and noticed another bus driver walking to her car, joking around I pretend to drive straight to her. I pulled over and asked a quick question and did not notice that Kelly was actually parked right there and she was in her car. Well she was on the phone with Chris and she proceeded to tell him that I was blocking her in..... BULLSHIT... I thought she was gone and did not notice her until Aida backed away and I said to my self" OH SHIT, she is still here." As I looked at her she chucked me the bird so I chucked it back at her and said fuck you bitch (not loud because Joshua was in the car).
She then said to Chris OMG... she just chucked me the bird and said fuck you bitch.
So when I got home, Chris was there and he was very upset with me.. Don't know why but he was, I finally got it out of him and he said because I chucked Kelly the bird.... WELL hello, I only did what he told me to do before,, give it right back at her.....so I did.
Well she has lied so much to him saying that I blocked her in and I don't know why she is chucking me the bird. He ACTUALLY believes her.
We got into a huge argument and he no longer wants to be friends anymore..
He stills thinks I am the one who is lying to him. I am very hurt that someone who was once a very good friend, wants nothing to do with me... but no matter what I say, he will not believe me.
I can't believe that I still cry myself to sleep every night because of what she does to me at work, and I said nothing to Chris, but she has no problem saying things to Chris about me.
Well no all the damage is done and there is no going back. No husband and no good friend.
It was funny when the boys told me yesterday that they meet Kelly, I could not believe that Chris would do that to me soo soon, but all I could think of is "BOY DO I MISS MY FRIEND"
Chris kept on asking me whats on my mind right this second and I could not tell him...
I DO AND WILL MISS MY GOOD FRIEND...
Good bye for now...
Sunday, January 31, 2010
my little boy
This morning, I was in the kitchen and my youngest (Arthur) asked me a few questions...
Arthur: "Does daddy like skinny girls?"
Me: I don't know
Arthur: "Why does daddy have a girlfriend?"
Me : Because he does not love mommy anymore
Arthur: "Is daddy going to marry his girlfriend?"
Me: I don't know.
Arthur: "Well, I still love you mommy"
Me: I love you too baby
Boy does this hurt.. Yup, I am crying again..
Arthur: "Does daddy like skinny girls?"
Me: I don't know
Arthur: "Why does daddy have a girlfriend?"
Me : Because he does not love mommy anymore
Arthur: "Is daddy going to marry his girlfriend?"
Me: I don't know.
Arthur: "Well, I still love you mommy"
Me: I love you too baby
Boy does this hurt.. Yup, I am crying again..
Saturday, January 30, 2010
the boys football banquet
Tonight we went to the boys (Josh and Arties) football banquet, Chris took his own truck which was fine with me because I am dead to him anyway.
The night went well and when it was over, we went our seperate ways.. He ended up calling me to say "Thank you for a good night."
OK.... why did he do that?? He said that he is glad that we can go out together (even thought it is separte) and have a good night. Well what ever is how I see it, It is for the boys anyway. He hopes we can do that again.. WHO KNOWS... I doubt if very much because there is not much that goes on with the boys that we have to be together...
Well I guess it was nice of him to call.
The night went well and when it was over, we went our seperate ways.. He ended up calling me to say "Thank you for a good night."
OK.... why did he do that?? He said that he is glad that we can go out together (even thought it is separte) and have a good night. Well what ever is how I see it, It is for the boys anyway. He hopes we can do that again.. WHO KNOWS... I doubt if very much because there is not much that goes on with the boys that we have to be together...
Well I guess it was nice of him to call.
in a million pieces
Well, Yesterday, Jan. 29, 2010, I became officially dead in Chris eyes... well at least that is the way I see it. I told him how Kelly is treating me at work before, he told me that if it happens again to let him know. He called me Thurs. night around 10pm telling me that he talked to Kelly to stop doing what she is doing to me, and once again, I told him that she will deny what she is doing and sure enough she did. Well I felt a little relieved thinking that if she really liked Chris that she would at least leave me alone for about a week. BOY was I wrong... the very next day (Fri) she purposely looked for my bus and gave me a look again. Then when I passed her at NES, she gave me the biggest smirk saying" HA HA,, I am with your husband." When I went to park my bus, she was leaving in her car, with her 14 yr.old son in the car, and she actually swerved at me when I was in the bus.. I was soo sick to my stomach, that I actually go sick when I parked my bus..
When I told Chris this, He threw a fit and said that I was lying and I am acting childish...He said that he knows that I never lied to him before, but I am lying now, and without skipping a beat, he told me that he loves her......Well in my eyes I became DEAD to him.
I can't believe he thinks I am lying.. she has been doing this since they started dating, and I also found out Thurs. morning that she is the one who went after him knowing that we see each other EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! and that Chris just moved out a month before she started to chase him. She is doing this to throw it in my face everyday and it is killing me..
Well, after Chris threw a fit at me and told me that I am the one lying, it felt like he ripped my heart out and threw it on the floor and because it was not broken enough, he stomped on it and made sure it was in a million pieces so it could not be repaired.. That made me lose all felling for him and he said that he was glad that I have no more feeling for him...
He then called me about an hour or so later and apologized to me, saying that he went to talk to someone who he trust (most likely Kim) and she told him everything that I told him...
What do I say to that....NOTHING!!!! the damage is already done.. I AM DEAD IN HIS EYES..... because he believed someone that he only knew for three weeks....well it is the end......I AM DEAD
When I told Chris this, He threw a fit and said that I was lying and I am acting childish...He said that he knows that I never lied to him before, but I am lying now, and without skipping a beat, he told me that he loves her......Well in my eyes I became DEAD to him.
I can't believe he thinks I am lying.. she has been doing this since they started dating, and I also found out Thurs. morning that she is the one who went after him knowing that we see each other EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! and that Chris just moved out a month before she started to chase him. She is doing this to throw it in my face everyday and it is killing me..
Well, after Chris threw a fit at me and told me that I am the one lying, it felt like he ripped my heart out and threw it on the floor and because it was not broken enough, he stomped on it and made sure it was in a million pieces so it could not be repaired.. That made me lose all felling for him and he said that he was glad that I have no more feeling for him...
He then called me about an hour or so later and apologized to me, saying that he went to talk to someone who he trust (most likely Kim) and she told him everything that I told him...
What do I say to that....NOTHING!!!! the damage is already done.. I AM DEAD IN HIS EYES..... because he believed someone that he only knew for three weeks....well it is the end......I AM DEAD
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