What is he thinking?????

OK, so last night Chris said that he is coming over to get his plow. So I text him to ask if he can pick me up some Bailey's Cream (for my coffee). I did not think anything of it because I have been wanting it for a while, just never went to the store to get it and seeing that he is coming over anyways I asked if he can pick some up for me and I will pay him Friday when I get paid.

Well he did and I thanked him, he also bought himself some beer and said that he will have only one with me, I already had some wine coolers. OK. so one turned into 3, then 4, then 5. We were watching TV, and chatting. He stayed to watch the weather,(we are getting snow) and he wanted to know how much. So the weather has ended and he said that he was going home, I walked him into the kitchen to say goodbye and thanked him for the Bailey's.
Well his hands were cold and he put them on my face, I took them and held them to warm them up and then he asked me "What do you want". I was (and still am) very confused on what he means by that. I told him that I want someone to love, and who can love me back.

He kept on asking me at least 20 times, what do you want , why am I here. I told him all I wanted was the Bailey's. I did not expect anything else. But I guess that was not the answer he wanted. He then started to play with my nipples and was getting me all worked up, and still he kept on asking me "what do you want, why am I here". I still have no idea what he means by that, so I was saying things I thought he wanted me to say... but still he asked me again.
OK, I said I want to suck his cock. I said that I want him to have sex with me( which I really didn't care if we did or not) I was telling him everything that I thought he wanted to here, but it did not seem to be the answer he was looking for.... I truly did not want to have him come over for sex, all I really wanted was the Bailey's.... and I told him that.
We ended up having a shot of Bailey's and what was left in the cup, he dripped it onto my chest. (this is what he did before anything I just wrote up there) and asked me what do I want.
I took my sweatshirt off, because I just bought it and it was white, I did not want to get it stained already. So there I was standing there with out my shirt and he would just look at me. He asked me if he was going to lick it off or wipe it off and I said nothing, so he took it as wipe it off (which I am glad he did). He then put my shirt back on because I did not give him an answer that he was looking for, which I have no idea what he wants.
Oh yeah, As we were having a shot, he said that it was between us, our friendship, he WANTS me as a friend. He also had to put in there that he is living his life the way he wants right now, going out and having fun... well good for him, and I said that to him too..lol
Well we still continued to tease each other in the kitchen, I still have no idea what he was looking for in an answer from me. So it ended up that we went upstairs and had sex. OK, so it sucked, it was not the same, for some strange reason. I can't say it will not happen again, but I really don't want it from him anymore. He LOVES my BJ'S but I will not give it to him anymore.
I don't know why, prob. because he killed me and there is no more feelings for him. I do enjoy talking to him but that is it.
He ended up leaving around 11:45pm and that was that.. I still have no idea what he wanted me to say.. and will never know.
I wish I could remember everything in order instead of jumping around, but I can't, so I guess it is a good thing that I am the only one that is going to read this...lol