Hello

hello there,
well it has been about a month since I wrote anything.. The same shit different day. Chris still does not know what he wants, he says he loves me but I keep finding out that he calls and txts Kelley back and forth. He still loves to go out and drink a lot and when he is drunk, that is when he contacts Kelley.
Some times I just want to cut the string between us because I still fell like I am on the back burner with him. He is very distant and I don't like that.
Today he says that he has a meeting w/ work in Rytham Chili's. Last night he said that he MIGHT not see me tonight? Why? Does he have a date? Who knows. I asked him today why he won't see me tonight When I asked him why he is not going to see me he got very defencive and asked why do I want to know. Well Hello!!!!! Why do you think I want to know what you are doing after work???// He will never get it.. I love him to death, but I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering if he really loves me or not. and if I am only here to say that he has someone... He still has a lot of feelings for Kelley even though she is a slut (yes she has asked Parker and Murph to have sex w/ her) and that bothers Chris. It should not but it does and he does not see my point of view.. Chris has said many times that it is none of my business what he does when he is not with me, but HELLO we are still married, husband and wife.. It is my business what he does when he is not w/ me..
He still has not given me any money after almost 3 months. We are almost 5 months behind on our mortgage. I am sure it won't be too much longer before it goes into foreclosure...
That is another reason that I feel like I should file for at least child support because he has not given me a dime for any bills or groceries... I have been using the money that the girls have been given me for rent, but that is supposed to be for the mortgage.

Well I think I let out some steam now.. Back to doing some chores..